Easter Funny Kill Bill!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

It’s been a little bit of a busy week wrapping up the 1^st quarter of 2016 and getting wedding / honeymoon information taken care of for August… but I’ve gotten a few movies in to share with you.

 

First up is the movie that was originally going to be featured on the Everything I Learned From Movies Podcast, 2006’s “Easter Bunny Kill Kill!” starring… nobody you know, it’s a very small independent film. We were going to watch this movie & review it… but based on the preview on the DVD, Izzy decided that it was too gory for her… so we switched it up to “Night of the Lepus” which turned out to be for the better. This movie follows a jerkass named Remington (first scene is him sticking up a convenience store in an Easter Bunny mask, then blasts him with a shotgun) who has sleazed his way into being the boyfriend of a single mom whose raising a special needs 16-year old (and I was trying to determine whether her occupation was a nurse or a stripper who wore a nurse’s outfit). Well, he’s all nice when she’s around… but once she goes to work, Remington is verbally abusive to her son… and threatens to kill his bunny… and then one night while he goes off to snort blow & f**k some hookers, he rents out her special needs son’s sweet virgin ass to a child molester. Yeah, this movie gets really dark, really quick. Well… as the title would imply, there is one person who can save his innocence… and that’s the Easter Bunny… who comes to save the day with a power drill, hammer & other assortments from a tool belt. I’m not going to spoil the ending… but yeah, this is a pretty low budget slasher flick. I mean… the acting was pretty bad, but not horrible. Given the movie that they were doing… who am I kidding? It was pretty bad. The “kill scenes” are interesting though a little sloppy on the editing… the music was pretty good for the atmosphere… but yeah, the dialogue was horrible… there’s a lot of “why would you do that?” moments… but yeah, it had an Easter Bunny. I don’t know… I give it 3 out of 10 stars or something like that. I liked Remington’s 10-second “Coke & Hookers” song that he sang in the mirror… and there was some stray titties… but that’s about it.

I followed that up with a movie that actually made me a little scared, the 2015 documentary “The Nightmare” which talks about sleep paralysis and is from the director of “Room 237”. Essentially the movie is a series of interviews with people who suffer from sleep paralysis, a condition in which people go to sleep… but then have lucid dream-like situations where they all seem to have the same experience… where the shadows seem to come alive and torment them, yet they cannot speak, move or even so much as close their eyes or look away while feeling absolutely terrified, sometimes with their breathing and other functions shutting down on them.  Think of it as an incredibly deep sleep where you’re in a dream that you can’t escape… basically the kind of stuff that Wes Craven turned into the “Nightmare on Elm Street” franchise and the more recent “Insidious” horror franchise is based on… and basically most people who suffer from it think it’s bordering on the line of demonic possessions, even the atheists. This documentary pairs these interviews with some pretty good reenactments of their stories… and apparently there’s really no cure (except for one instance I won’t spoil) and the sleep paralysis gets progressively worse as you get older. I’d highly recommend checking out this movie… it’s very well done & interesting.

 

One reason that it scared me a little bit… is I’ve had a few dreams where there was a form of this (Oct 4^th, 2010 – “Wave of Killers” for one) especially when I’ve had a few to drink, but even when completely sober. No, it’s not a major thing in my life… but it’s happened before… and most of their stories started out like “Yeah, it happened a few times as a kid… and then it just got worse… and now I can’t even go to sleep, hold a relationship, find meaning in my life.” Okay, not that bad… they’ve actually all done pretty well for themselves considering the constant torment of sleep paralysis that they have… but yeah, just a little scary. Don’t worry, I won’t let it get to me. Does anybody else have these kind of dreams occasionally?

 

Saturday night, Izzy & I went to a swanky event known as the Sea Otter Soiree at the world famous San Francisco Zoo, and hosted by the Museum of the Farallones. At this event, we met with likeminded individuals who are interested in all things otter… and listened to a speech about the research being done in the area concerning the migration patterns, ecological benefits & everything else otter-related. Oh… and there was beer, of course… it’s a swanky event. Here are some pictures, including probably one of the best pictures of us ever taken…

 

 

 

Last little update… the next episode of Everything I Learned From Movies (eilfm.podbean.com) will be… drum roll… Day of the Dolphin!!!

 

But $teve, didn’t you already tell us about this wonderful movie months ago?” Yes, Izzy & I watched it a few months ago… but we wanted to elaborate… and share our vocal skills in recreating dolphin noises (well, Izzy anyway). It’s a great flick… and may contain the greatest scene in film history towards the end. Watch it! Let us know what you think! Then we can give you a shout out on the podcast! Until then, have a great day everybody!!!

Night of the Lepus

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Happy Zombie Jesus Day everybody!!! Sacrilegious? Yeah… but still. Easter is easily the most confusing holiday in my opinion… and I’m sure that I’ve elaborated on it before… so skip to what we did to celebrate the reanimation of our Lord & Savior. In traditional fashion, we skipped church and went to the Aunties’ house to color Easter eggs, eat barbecue (the body of Christ), and drink beer (blood of Christ). Here are some pictures…

 

I also got a wonderful gift from Izzy... STUFFED ANKY!!!

Over the weekend, I watched a few movies that I had been putting off, but finally got around to. First up was “Z for Zachariah” which stars Margot Robbie, Chiwetel Ejiofor & Chris Pine… and that is it. For this movie, after some sort of radiation disaster has happened, most of civilization has been destroyed. The movie starts in the scenic hills of (I think) Pennsylvania where we find a young farmer named Anna (Robbie) who has been by herself for some time (maybe 2-3 years? They’re pretty vague on it) but she’s farming, hunting, and surviving with her dog. Then one day, she finds a mysterious gentleman in some sort of makeshift hazmat suit name Mr. Loomis (Ejiofor). Being the first person she’s seen in years… and he seems like a nice guy, she invites him to stay and they work together to keep surviving… and a relationship grows… and then, another stranger with some radiation poisoning named Caleb (Pine) shows up… and a love triangle forms… and breeds jealousy… but to what end? I really liked this movie. It’s very simple, very beautifully shot… and the characters are easy on the eyes, even in this strapped down kind of story. Character development is there… performances are great… even the pacing is pretty good for being, essentially a very brief story. I absolutely LOVED this movie until the last few minutes… but even then with a bit of an awkward ending, I still highly recommend it. Check this movie out! See Margot Robbie with some acting chops & not just a pretty face (and the rest of her)!

 

Next up was “Muppets Most Wanted” starring Ricky Gervais and a load of celebrity cameos, but essentially the sequel to last year’s “The Muppets” and the 8^th full-length feature Muppets movie. In this one, it picks up from the end of the latest movies where the Muppets have come back in a BIG way and have a hit show… and now are looking into signing an agent (Gervais) and go around the world on the world tour… which has Kermit a little hesitant because they just got back together. Oh… and if you don’t know who the Muppets are, I pity you. Check them out. Anyway, the agent turns out to be a bad guy (his last name was Badguy) and partners with the greatest burglar in the world, a Russian frog named Constantine… who breaks out of jail, and they basically frame Kermit so HE goes to jail AS Constantine… and yeah, it’s a Muppets movie. It’s pretty funny at times… and lots of musical numbers thrown in… Tina Fey is a Russian gulag warden… Ty Burrell is a bumbling French Interpol agent… it’s just fun & ridiculous. If you like the Muppets, check it out. If you have kids, check it out. If not, then it’s probably pointless on you… there are a lot of references to the monotony of sequels IN THE MOVIE. I liked it though.

 

Lastly, the next episode of our Everything I Learned from Movies Podcast (eiflm.podbean.com) will also have an Easter holiday theme. This week, we’ll discuss a movie that just kinda hopped up on IMDb when we put in Easter and… no, it’s not a zombie movie (though it was definitely considered). The movie is 1972’s “Night of the Lepus!” and is a horror movie starring Janet Leigh, Rory Calhoun, DeForrest Kelley and others... and it’s about giant mutant bunnies taking over the Southwest. This… was… amazing! Currently streaming on Amazon Prime… so check it out & then check us out on the podcast. Until then, have a great weekend everybody!!!

Bottling Easter

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Friday night, Izzy & I watched “Space Cowboys” starring Clint Eastwood, James Garner, Tommy Lee Jones & Donald Sutherland in this pseudo-comedy about four geriatric former Air Force astronaut candidates from the 50’s who missed out on the Apollo missions because their… I don’t know… boss? Commanding officer? It’s kinda vague exactly what kind of influence he (James Cromwell) really had over them… but they sent a chimp into space instead of these four. Now, forty years later (made in 1999) there’s an aging Russian satellite that’s malfunctioning… and the only person that can fix it is the creator of the antique guidance system that’s on it (Eastwood). However, he wants to go to space… and take his buddies along with him… and basically just stick it to the guy in charge of NASA (still Cromwell somehow, forty years later). So the outlaw Josey Wales gets the band back together with an elderly “Casanova” (Sutherland), Rockford-turned-preacher (Garner) and… well… widower crop duster Tommy Lee Jones playing Tommy Lee Jones as only Tommy Lee Jones can play. It’s a pretty good little flick… kinda BS at some points… but really what do you expect with the premise? Overall, I’d say check it out… maybe with your parents… you know, make ‘em feel like they could be astronauts still… cuz chances are they’d thought about it a few times as a kid.

 

There were just two things about this movie that kinda bothered me. First off, the flight controller was apparently having some kind of f**king issue with his prosthetic teeth (caps) because they’re basically sticking out the entire time & I know he’s supposed to be chewing on gum constantly… but it looks like when you put peanut butter in a horse’s mouth the entire time. It was off-putting… but still, kudos to him for still acting through it. Secondly, spoiler alert… so turn away if you must, I have a minor issue with the ending. Okay... again, spoiler alert, to start the 3^rd act, Tommy Lee Jones’ character Hawk is diagnosed with inoperable cancer… so he’s going to die soon… gee, I wonder who’s going to have to sacrifice himself when they’re in space. That’s not the issue… I liked that. My issue is that… he sacrifices himself to save the others… and just before the credits roll, there’s a scene set to Sinatra’s “Fly Me To The Moon” where you see… basically Tommy Lee Jones’ astronaut suit sat up against a moon rock and enjoying the view of Earth as if he were in a lounge chair during his last few moments… not a bad way to go out, right? Except for one little thing… forgiving that I assume for TLJ to make it to the lunar surface, there was probably some kind of re-entry collision with the ground… if this is truly his final resting place… then basically what you’re seeing is the suit containing the corpse of a man who died GASPING for air in the infinity of space, alone… and I’m not going to lie… instead of watching the reflections off his gold-plated astronaut visor, I kinda wanted the visor to flip open at the last minute revealing the frozen, contorted face not unlike somebody beholding the Ark of the Covenant. Yes, it’s a horrible & image to imagine… but hey, that’s just me… play ‘em out, Frankie! Roll credits…

 

Saturday, Izzy & I helped out for her class’ final reading of their literary works at the SAFEhouse for the Arts. Izzy read a short story about her recent BS with the electric company (where basically because used less electricity than most first world citizens do, she was penalized & charged about five times as much in penalties) but it was very well written & even pleasantly humorous. She & about a dozen other gifted artists shared their poems & short stories… and a good time was had by all. I know what you’re thinking… and no, I didn’t read. I manned the bar. Somebody has to get that money to help fund the arts. Good times…

 

Sunday was Easter… and I’ll be honest, it was the first holiday where not having my dad around since his passing kinda hit me a little bit. Basically I awoke Sunday morning to my mom calling from Utah (an hour ahead & I was sleeping in) and saying “Happy Easter” and playing this ridiculous little blue plush bunny that says “Meeeeeh somebunny loves youuuuu… ntntntntntntntt (bunny chomping)” and then my niece & nephew joined in. Along with having my lovely ladyfriend by my side … Really a good way to be woken up if I say so myself… and also it was raining… which I also enjoy immensely. After chatting it up with them briefly, my first thought upon hanging up was “I should call my dad and wish him a hap…” and then it kinda hit me… just enough… and it probably didn’t help that basically what I was looking at while laying back in my bed was his mini-urn hanging over my closet. It also probably didn’t help that my dad looked a lot like Jesus most of the time growing up… long hair, beard, basically picture White Jesus with Aviator sunglasses… and the alleged point of Easter is that He arose three days after being killed to seek revenge on his conspirators… or something like that, I think the story kinda tapers off after he comes back… like people went “Holy sh*t! He’s alive! He’s reborn!” Then Jesus kinda wanders off while they’re busy telling their friends or something? I don’t recall a big meeting where He says anything about His return or any deeds that He di… NO! NO NO NO! I’m not getting off track with another “What the f**k is Easter exactly?” rant… back to the point. Anyway, so the thought of the three days… turned to three weeks… and then the three months that it was been (how zombie trilogies go, right?) and it was kinda like… “Yeah… he’s not coming back… and I miss him.” Did I know this before? Absolutely! Hell, my stepmom had him cremated & a party in his honor within three days… and we’re not on speaking terms. Not that I’m bitter or anything, it’s just any time that my brother or I try to figure out what’s going on with “the estate” there’s no contact back… so I assume it’s either being given away to family members that aren’t us… or being wholesaled to try & finance the massive debt that was probably kept from us. Alas… that was my moment… and then I squoze my ladyfriend & we began our busy brew day… cuz what can you do other than move along happily with your life? On that note, here are some pictures from our walks...

 

The day started with a special new brew for us known as a SMaSH recipe. SMaSH stands for Single Malt and Single Hop… so basically the recipe is fairly simple, usuing only one grain to extract the sugars from… and then one hop variety during the boil and/or fermentation. Though the recipe is simple, it’s also a great way to experiment, toy with, and accentuate or find out what flavor qualities come from the malt & hop being used. For this first time, we thought that it’d be interesting to try to do an English Pale Ale using Maris Otter grain, which typically has a bready/biscuit flavor… and UK Kent Golding hops, which compliment it well & are often used in English Ales of all sorts. Though the malt will typically be pretty one-note, you can toy around with the hop additions during the boil to empathize different levels of bitterness and aroma… all from the same hop variety. Anyway, here are some pictures of the process…

 

 

Another big thing that happened… was that Izzy & I FINALLY bottled our Barrel-Aged Imperial Stout that we started back in October & has been fermenting away in our five-gallon whiskey barrel from Seven Stills for a little over two months now. Remember, the ABV was about 11% BEFORE we put it in the whiskey barrel… and let me tell you, all it really did was add even more complexity to the flavors… and basically mellow out the alcohol burn you normally get in the mouthfeel with a beer this big… but it’s also probably around 13-15% ABV now… so yeah, VERY delicious & boozy… and it shall be called… $teve’s Birthday Cake! Here are pictures… including Izzy’s reaction shot to this deliciousness in her mouth…

 

 

Now that he had an open whiskey barrel, we put our Scotch Ale from a few weeks ago in there to age. The Scotch Ale by itself seems a little on the lighter side from most Scotch Ale recipes due to our attenuation probably being in the 60-70% range where Elevation 66’s equipment helps them to get in the 80% range… but still a very delicious, full flavored beer… and now it gets the barrel aging treatment. Here are some more pictures of that…

 

Lastly, we also transferred our Cactus Milk Stout to secondary fermentation… and this looks and smells like it’s going to be a truly delicious beer…

 

Anyway, that was our Easter weekend… oddly enough no deviled eggs, but I’ll be sure to bring that up for this weekend… or maybe a random breakfast. Hope you all had a wonderful time with your families or at least just having fun! Have a great day everybody!!!