Easter Funny Kill Bill!!!

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

It’s been a little bit of a busy week wrapping up the 1^st quarter of 2016 and getting wedding / honeymoon information taken care of for August… but I’ve gotten a few movies in to share with you.

 

First up is the movie that was originally going to be featured on the Everything I Learned From Movies Podcast, 2006’s “Easter Bunny Kill Kill!” starring… nobody you know, it’s a very small independent film. We were going to watch this movie & review it… but based on the preview on the DVD, Izzy decided that it was too gory for her… so we switched it up to “Night of the Lepus” which turned out to be for the better. This movie follows a jerkass named Remington (first scene is him sticking up a convenience store in an Easter Bunny mask, then blasts him with a shotgun) who has sleazed his way into being the boyfriend of a single mom whose raising a special needs 16-year old (and I was trying to determine whether her occupation was a nurse or a stripper who wore a nurse’s outfit). Well, he’s all nice when she’s around… but once she goes to work, Remington is verbally abusive to her son… and threatens to kill his bunny… and then one night while he goes off to snort blow & f**k some hookers, he rents out her special needs son’s sweet virgin ass to a child molester. Yeah, this movie gets really dark, really quick. Well… as the title would imply, there is one person who can save his innocence… and that’s the Easter Bunny… who comes to save the day with a power drill, hammer & other assortments from a tool belt. I’m not going to spoil the ending… but yeah, this is a pretty low budget slasher flick. I mean… the acting was pretty bad, but not horrible. Given the movie that they were doing… who am I kidding? It was pretty bad. The “kill scenes” are interesting though a little sloppy on the editing… the music was pretty good for the atmosphere… but yeah, the dialogue was horrible… there’s a lot of “why would you do that?” moments… but yeah, it had an Easter Bunny. I don’t know… I give it 3 out of 10 stars or something like that. I liked Remington’s 10-second “Coke & Hookers” song that he sang in the mirror… and there was some stray titties… but that’s about it.

I followed that up with a movie that actually made me a little scared, the 2015 documentary “The Nightmare” which talks about sleep paralysis and is from the director of “Room 237”. Essentially the movie is a series of interviews with people who suffer from sleep paralysis, a condition in which people go to sleep… but then have lucid dream-like situations where they all seem to have the same experience… where the shadows seem to come alive and torment them, yet they cannot speak, move or even so much as close their eyes or look away while feeling absolutely terrified, sometimes with their breathing and other functions shutting down on them.  Think of it as an incredibly deep sleep where you’re in a dream that you can’t escape… basically the kind of stuff that Wes Craven turned into the “Nightmare on Elm Street” franchise and the more recent “Insidious” horror franchise is based on… and basically most people who suffer from it think it’s bordering on the line of demonic possessions, even the atheists. This documentary pairs these interviews with some pretty good reenactments of their stories… and apparently there’s really no cure (except for one instance I won’t spoil) and the sleep paralysis gets progressively worse as you get older. I’d highly recommend checking out this movie… it’s very well done & interesting.

 

One reason that it scared me a little bit… is I’ve had a few dreams where there was a form of this (Oct 4^th, 2010 – “Wave of Killers” for one) especially when I’ve had a few to drink, but even when completely sober. No, it’s not a major thing in my life… but it’s happened before… and most of their stories started out like “Yeah, it happened a few times as a kid… and then it just got worse… and now I can’t even go to sleep, hold a relationship, find meaning in my life.” Okay, not that bad… they’ve actually all done pretty well for themselves considering the constant torment of sleep paralysis that they have… but yeah, just a little scary. Don’t worry, I won’t let it get to me. Does anybody else have these kind of dreams occasionally?

 

Saturday night, Izzy & I went to a swanky event known as the Sea Otter Soiree at the world famous San Francisco Zoo, and hosted by the Museum of the Farallones. At this event, we met with likeminded individuals who are interested in all things otter… and listened to a speech about the research being done in the area concerning the migration patterns, ecological benefits & everything else otter-related. Oh… and there was beer, of course… it’s a swanky event. Here are some pictures, including probably one of the best pictures of us ever taken…

 

 

 

Last little update… the next episode of Everything I Learned From Movies (eilfm.podbean.com) will be… drum roll… Day of the Dolphin!!!

 

But $teve, didn’t you already tell us about this wonderful movie months ago?” Yes, Izzy & I watched it a few months ago… but we wanted to elaborate… and share our vocal skills in recreating dolphin noises (well, Izzy anyway). It’s a great flick… and may contain the greatest scene in film history towards the end. Watch it! Let us know what you think! Then we can give you a shout out on the podcast! Until then, have a great day everybody!!!

Night of the Lepus

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

Happy Zombie Jesus Day everybody!!! Sacrilegious? Yeah… but still. Easter is easily the most confusing holiday in my opinion… and I’m sure that I’ve elaborated on it before… so skip to what we did to celebrate the reanimation of our Lord & Savior. In traditional fashion, we skipped church and went to the Aunties’ house to color Easter eggs, eat barbecue (the body of Christ), and drink beer (blood of Christ). Here are some pictures…

 

I also got a wonderful gift from Izzy... STUFFED ANKY!!!

Over the weekend, I watched a few movies that I had been putting off, but finally got around to. First up was “Z for Zachariah” which stars Margot Robbie, Chiwetel Ejiofor & Chris Pine… and that is it. For this movie, after some sort of radiation disaster has happened, most of civilization has been destroyed. The movie starts in the scenic hills of (I think) Pennsylvania where we find a young farmer named Anna (Robbie) who has been by herself for some time (maybe 2-3 years? They’re pretty vague on it) but she’s farming, hunting, and surviving with her dog. Then one day, she finds a mysterious gentleman in some sort of makeshift hazmat suit name Mr. Loomis (Ejiofor). Being the first person she’s seen in years… and he seems like a nice guy, she invites him to stay and they work together to keep surviving… and a relationship grows… and then, another stranger with some radiation poisoning named Caleb (Pine) shows up… and a love triangle forms… and breeds jealousy… but to what end? I really liked this movie. It’s very simple, very beautifully shot… and the characters are easy on the eyes, even in this strapped down kind of story. Character development is there… performances are great… even the pacing is pretty good for being, essentially a very brief story. I absolutely LOVED this movie until the last few minutes… but even then with a bit of an awkward ending, I still highly recommend it. Check this movie out! See Margot Robbie with some acting chops & not just a pretty face (and the rest of her)!

 

Next up was “Muppets Most Wanted” starring Ricky Gervais and a load of celebrity cameos, but essentially the sequel to last year’s “The Muppets” and the 8^th full-length feature Muppets movie. In this one, it picks up from the end of the latest movies where the Muppets have come back in a BIG way and have a hit show… and now are looking into signing an agent (Gervais) and go around the world on the world tour… which has Kermit a little hesitant because they just got back together. Oh… and if you don’t know who the Muppets are, I pity you. Check them out. Anyway, the agent turns out to be a bad guy (his last name was Badguy) and partners with the greatest burglar in the world, a Russian frog named Constantine… who breaks out of jail, and they basically frame Kermit so HE goes to jail AS Constantine… and yeah, it’s a Muppets movie. It’s pretty funny at times… and lots of musical numbers thrown in… Tina Fey is a Russian gulag warden… Ty Burrell is a bumbling French Interpol agent… it’s just fun & ridiculous. If you like the Muppets, check it out. If you have kids, check it out. If not, then it’s probably pointless on you… there are a lot of references to the monotony of sequels IN THE MOVIE. I liked it though.

 

Lastly, the next episode of our Everything I Learned from Movies Podcast (eiflm.podbean.com) will also have an Easter holiday theme. This week, we’ll discuss a movie that just kinda hopped up on IMDb when we put in Easter and… no, it’s not a zombie movie (though it was definitely considered). The movie is 1972’s “Night of the Lepus!” and is a horror movie starring Janet Leigh, Rory Calhoun, DeForrest Kelley and others... and it’s about giant mutant bunnies taking over the Southwest. This… was… amazing! Currently streaming on Amazon Prime… so check it out & then check us out on the podcast. Until then, have a great weekend everybody!!!

Room on Your iPod

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

The other night, I watched “Room” starring Academy Award winner Brie Larson. This movie has been talked about lately after Brie’s win… but the subject matter is both dark… and inspiring / whimsical in a way. The story is about a mother & child who are being held captive in a man’s garden shed. The mother has been there for 7 years… and her son is celebrating his 5^th birthday… so he knows NOTHING of the outside world beyond the Room. However, his mother has a plan… to escape. Now, I don’t want to give too much away on the when & the how… but it’s not really a spoiler alert that they escape. I’ll leave it at that. What’s great about this movie though… is the tone is pretty damn good. At times it’s dark, gritty & scary… but it’s also told mostly from the point of view of the young son… and there are times of whimsical enjoyment of spending time with his mom… and fear & grief… and confusion of the whole situation. The young child actor did a great job! Also, it’s a two hour movie that basically takes 30 minutes to set the movie, 30 minutes on the escape… and then the whole last hour is almost as scary with what happens to the mother & her child now that they’re back out in the world. Great flick! Go check it out if you’re up to the subject matter.

Another note: The mother’s parents are played by William H. Macy & Joan Allen. Does that sound familiar? Yes… the same parents as the movie “Pleasantville” from the late 90’s. So… in my twisted mind of movie connection… “Room” is essentially a sequel to “Pleasantville” where Reese Witherspoon’s character is kidnapped at the age of 17, spends 7 years in captivity & raising her child in a garden shed where she raped nightly… and then escapes & returns home to her parents… and make no mistake, they’re basically the same stereotypical wholesome father-mother characters as that movie. Now, I have a theory about this movie. Originally they were going to have a more complex father character who had to really portray both the man who would be overjoyed to have a grandson… but also know that it was a child of the man who kidnapped & violated his daughter nightly for seven years. That’s a tough role to pull off. Answer? Have WHM be the father who almost disowns his daughter (he’s only in like three short scenes & it’s either involving lawyers, and the dinner table scene) and then insert that uncle that lives in the home with them… who may look a little unnerving… but he’s a sweet guy who just wants to help the son not be scared of new people & things. You can’t really have both in the same character… but yeah, the uncle seemed a little thrown-in… and he had a puppy so… sold. Anyway, check out this movie.

 

This weekend has been pretty rainy which is awesome… but Sunday morning, Izzy & I went downtown for a wedding ring sizing, then a little movie date where I finally took her to see “Star Wars: Force Awakens” for the first time (my 3^rd time), she liked it… and then we went to the Aunties to bake some cookies for her cousin Jeff who’s posted with the Air Force. It was a great day! Other than that, nothing much to report… but I really enjoy spending time with Izzy’s family… and of course Izzy. Hmm… what else do I have to announce? Oh yeah…

 

THE PODCAST IS FINALLY UP & RUNNING!!! (horn horn hoooooooooorn…)

 

That’s right! “Everything I Learned From Movies” podcast is up & running at eilfm.podbean.com or the link is HERE AT EILFM!!! Episode one is our review of “Tremors 5: Bloodlines” and really the entire Tremors Cinematic Universe… and a sneak peak at movies coming out the next few months, which whether you should be excited or not. Along with the website, there’s a Facebook page, twitter handle (@eilfmovies) and you of course already know about these blogs. Stay tuned! Stay connected!

 

Coming soon though… theme music… more reviews of movies that you’d probably enjoy… plenty of great beer that you should also be enjoying while enjoying the movies… news clips… ridiculous off-shoot bits that we enjoy… and who knows what else? Honestly we haven’t even recorded Episode 2 yet but we’re going to try to keep it posted once a week once we get all of the sites up & running, coordinated, integrated & easy to feed one another… but it should be on iTunes shortly. Until then, check us out at the LINK (eilfm.podbean.com) and share it with friends that you might think would enjoy it.

 

So yeah, follow the podcast, follow this blog, let us know what you think… suggestions for what you want to hear on the show… we’re also going to be looking for special guests soon, so if there’s a particular movie genre that you’re a fan of or upcoming film you wanted to check out with us & review on the podcast, hit us up! Until then, have a great day everybody!!!

Super Bowl L50

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,

 

This last week has been pretty crazy at work & at home with the presence of Super Bowl 50 here in the Bay Area. Last Monday, Izzy & I thought that since we were stuck in traffic so often & had to put up with some of the “benefits” of hosting the big game… why not check out some of the festivities? So we went down to the Embarcadero to see Super Bowl City.

 

First & foremost though, Izzy & I had the opportunity to see “Deadpool” the other night… a week before released in theatres. Yes, this is yet another comic book / graphic novel / superhero movie from the Marvel Cinematic Universe… and I know that a lot of you are tired of them. I’m starting to get there… but there’s some great movies out there… if not just for fun. This movie… is f**king AMAZING!!! Now… it’s rated R for violence, sexual references, language & other content… but if you know anything about the comics, then you already know this. Ryan Reynolds plays Wade Wilson… who’s a wise-cracking mercenary with a heart of gold… but when he’s diagnosed with cancer, he takes part in some experiments to overcome the illness by releasing his recessive mutant genes to help combat the cancer cells. Well… he soon finds out that it’s all a shame to make super soldier slaves… but not before they release some of those powers. He escapes the facility… but due to the process, he’s horribly disfigured so he lives with a blind lady instead of his super hot prostitute girlfriend (Morena Baccarin), and spends a lot of his time hanging with his comic relief bartender buddy (TJ Miller). Well… now he’s full of vengeance to take out the guy who disfigured him (Ed Skrein) and that’s BEFORE he decides to kidnap his girlfriend… yes… making this basically a wisecracking superhuman ninja VENGEANCE movie that’s rated R for violence, sexual references, language & adult content. This movie is basically MADE for me… and probably you if you’re an adult. I HIGHESTLY recommend that you go check this movie out… give it all your money. I would do the pros & cons thing… but there’s really not a whole lot of cons that I can come up with. The story is told is a way that it’s an origin story but keeps you entertained throughout… the acting it good… the effects are okay… the questionable actors (Gina Carano) are kept to a few words at most… it’s basically just a lot of fun & Ryan Reynolds is perfectly cast. This movie… is a THOUSAND times better than his first portrayal of Deadpool in that sh*t snack movie “Wolverine Origins” a few years back that I spent more time talking about my brother being “one of those guys” who talks about how the movie is different from the comics than talking about the movie. It just wasn’t good… and it had Wolverine, Deadpool AND Gambit. Sigh… anyway, a THOUSAND times better. Give this one all of your money. Don’t take the kids. Take the girlfriend.

 

Back to football... Super Bowl City was… well… to be honest, it was basically a BIG promotional platform for the NFL’s many sponsors… from Bud Light to Pepsi to Hewlett Packard to Verizon Wireless to CBS Sports to anything else that Peyton Manning forgot to mention in his post-game interview. After getting through the security checkpoint, we wandered around to see what was going on… and there was a lot of stuff to buy… but the interesting stuff was little tents / structures where you could see some new promotional technology for a company… we caught a game-winning touchdown pass with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background (that we could then hashtag CBS Sports for a chance to win free junk mail) and there was also a concert venue for free concerts. The night we went, it was a guy named Alomar… never heard of him… not good enough to Google. Alicia Keyes was on Saturday night though… and because it was free, they had to close the doors at 2 PM so that people wouldn’t literally stand on one another. Anyway, here are some pictures…

 

 

Friday night, we met up with Izzy’s mom & aunties for some wine sampling & karaoke at Four Fools Winery in Rodeo (near their homes). The venue is small, nice, and very communal. I really liked it. It’s kind of a wine taproom meets a storage facility for other vineyards… but they’re growing so that they can get their own vines one day. We basically spent the first hour or so chatting up with some of the owners… and yeah, they were pretty great. We sampled their wines, had some snacks, and then it was off to the great room to sing “Naughty Girl” like a f**king boss…

 

Sunday was the big game… so we went to a party with some elderly lesbians (as is the norm most weekends as you may have noticed) but it was hella fun! The party was… not the game… that was actually pretty hard to watch with all the turnovers & sloppy play… but that Denver Defense really took over. Well played guys! That’s really all I’ve gotta say on this game.

 

Now for the REALLY BIG NEWS from this week. Izzy & I have FINALLY… recorded a PODCAST!!! Yes, it only took like… three months… but we did it. It’s recorded… and should be coming to the internet in the next day or two… and to iTunes shortly after that. Details to come… but again, it’s called “Everything I Learned From Movies” or you can just hashtag #EILFM and it’ll be trending before you know it. Until then, have a great day everybody!!!