Monday, December 2, 2013

Introducing... Terrible Lizard Brewing

Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen,
Perhaps a little explanation concerning this blog… through some FAQ’s…
“What the heck is this thing about?”
This is a bit of a journal about our journey into the world of Homebrewing… and beer in general. The previous posts are from the past few months & chronicle our brew days, bottling days, tasting days… but also include book reviews, movie & TV reviews, product reviews, special events, festivals, personal social events, experiments, designs, art, road trips, and other miscellaneous adventures… all involving the wonderful product that is BEER!!!
“Terrible Lizard Brewing? That’s an odd name…” – Blog Title
Yes and no… you see, we are self-proclaimed dinosaur nerds… and Dinosaur means “Terrible Lizard” in Latin. We both love dinosaurs… and have since we were kids. Personally, when I was a kid, I was going to be a professional basketball player during the season… and then a paleontologist/archeologist during the off-season… basically Larry Bird meets Indiana Jones… hmm, Indiana Bird… that might be an interesting comic… sorry, anyway… it didn’t quite work out that way. I know, shocking! But I gave up on that dream with my 24th birthday after a VERY brief stint as a pro baller and needing to make money. The love for dinosaurs & mysteries from the past still burns within me though… as it does for the other author (she’ll do her own backstory at some point I’m sure) so after considering many different names for our brewing company… we thought this might be the most fitting (patent pending).
“Why are you doing this?” - Purpose
When we started this brewing company (term “company” used loosely since we’re not officially selling anything yet per law & only making five-gallon batches) a few months ago, there were a few things that we wanted to do.
1)    Have Fun trying out this new adventure - Because if it doesn’t make you happy or it doesn’t make you money, what’s the point?
2)    Make Fantastic Beer – There are already plenty of companies out there that have been making great beer for centuries. Whether it’s the BIG BEER guys that control over 90% of the market… or the mid-majors like Samuel Adams & Dogfish Head… or the little guys that are popping up all over metropolitan areas in their microbrew pubs, there’s a lot of different kinds of great beer out there… so we wanted to join that group & make great beer that we would buy when matched up against the others out there in the market as well.
3)    Dinosaurs had to be involved – See above explanation of the name
4)    Document our Adventures – We found that many people get homebrew kits as gifts… but never really use them… or use them a few times, become frustrated, and either get rid of them or put them in a closet to house spiders for the next 20 years or something. We thought that by documenting our process, achievements, failures, ideas, designs, recipes, research, and just all the fun that we were having while doing this stuff that it might actually help others to become interested… as well as get us a little exposure if we start selling our signature brews down the line. Obviously right now it’s primarily for educational purposes & let’s face it… maybe a little narcissism.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” – Meet the Authors
$teve aka Dr Mookie Love – 32 years old, born & raised in Utah, world traveler, degrees in marketing management & general studies, lived all along I-80 in the western U.S. from Denver to currently residing in San Francisco. As mentioned in the Epilogue, my experience with beer was fairly limited until recently… but if I had known in high school what I know now… I’d probably have a good 15 year head-start on this enterprise already. I blame public schools. I’ve been blogging for about seven years now and over the years it has ran the gamut of being basically a daily journal… to over the past few years kind of a weekly update based upon the amount of free time that I’ve had to readily update it. Please feel free to check it out to fully understand the eclectic eccentric that will be posting here. It’s pretty random… with postings about random thoughts, movie ideas, news stories, dreams, adventures around the world, family gatherings, LOTS of movie reviews & movie lists, stories about bacon, pandas, Batman, updates on the Serpent Apocalypse and many other things… but this blog will be obviously focused on the Beer.
Dizzy aka Untidy Venus – 28 years old, born & raised in Sacramento, currently resides in the San Francisco Bay Area, talented artist studying illustration, absolutely gorgeous person inside & out… and we’ve been dating for just under two years now. I’ll basically let her go into detail about herself in a later self-authored post if she wants but… yeah, she’s basically amazing… and loves dinosaurs, goats, horses, rats, cats and basically anything she considers cute.
 “Why should I subscribe?” – Please subscribe & follow us
1)    It’s Easy!!! – Seriously, you just click on the thing on the right hand side & it’s done…
2)    It’s Convenient!!! – New posts are sent directly to your profile so that you’re notified of all the excitement without even having to check with us directly
3)    It’s Interactive!!! – We’d like to keep you updated on our adventures & read and/or reply to your feedback and comments to attempt to make this an interactive blog where we both can learn. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to share.
4)    It’s about Beer and Dinosaurs!!! – If you like Beer… we’ll be talking about the craft of making it at home… and reviewing brews & breweries from around the world to hopefully help you make some decisions on your own. If you like Dinosaurs… they will be mentioned as well & we’ll be including some designs that you may find interesting, artwork that you can purchase through Dizzy’s Etsy account either for yourself or others, and occasionally just interesting facts that you may not have known.
5)    It’s Educational!!! – Do you know how Beer is made? Do you like interesting facts about Beer and/or Dinosaurs? Are you a visual learner? We are here to spread the good word & help others to share our desire for Homebrewing & finely crafted beer.
6)    It’s Fun!!! – We’re both pretty hilarious, light-hearted & a little out there… so we like to keep things pretty fun & entertaining.
7)    It’s FREE!!! – Saving the best for last… it’s absolutely FREE!!! That being said… if down the line there are advertisements and/or sponsors, please feel free to click on their links if you’re interested in their products so that it can continue to be FREE… but yeah, it doesn’t cost you anything and it can hopefully inspire you to start your own chronicle of adventures… or at least just have fun, smile & learn something new. Also, because it’s FREE, that means we’re not getting paid or anything. It’s out of the goodness of our ever-hardening hearts (well, mine anyway… but I blame bacon fat & bad drivers for that hardening). We’re not selling beer (yet) and obviously nobody else is giving us research materials for FREE… so if you like what you see, definitely let us know. Your satisfaction goes a long way toward keeping us motivated to post & sharing with you.
Besides, look over the list of reasons again… I think that you’re getting a pretty sweet deal if this even remotely interests you as a passing thing.
“So… Why are you doing this again?” - Outro
Again, if I had known what I know now back in the late 90’s… I would have been a 17-year old bootlegging brewer in my basement bedroom in the city of Ogden. Heck, maybe Terrible Lizard would already be a household name by now… but then again, I was really into my education (for some reason) & basketball… and I was a typical teenager making horrible decisions all in the effort to get some sweet poon from cheerleaders (unsuccessfully by the way)… and it’s also apparently illegal to homebrew if you’re under the age of 21 so that’s… not a deal breaker by any means but, you get the idea. Maybe it’s a good thing that I’m learning about this stuff at this age. Had I known back then…
1)    I wouldn’t have been focused on my education… so I might not have gone to college& earned not one but TWO degrees… except maybe I would’ve learned about UC-Davis’ Institute of Brewing & Distilling program and been part of that… but I think that’s a fairly recent occurrence… and I’m kinda considering it.
2)    I wouldn’t have been focused on basketball… so there wouldn’t have been all the great experiences with regards to that… and I would probably be grossly overweight living off a strict diet of bacon & beer… and cheese.
3)    I wouldn’t have found my current profession & traveled the world… not going to elaborate of my current profession but it’s led to many a wonderful trip across the globe, and short of hand-picking hops from Bavaria or something like I’m Jim Koch or Sam Calagione then I probably wouldn’t have traveled nearly as much… or been the places that I’ve been… or met the lovely Dizzy/Untidy Venus and started this thing.
4)    I would’ve had gallons of alcohol at my disposal at a very idiotic stage in my life… so either I would’ve drank myself to death, drove drunk (had plenty of friends go that way), used my booze powers for evil in hooking up with intoxicated ladies leading to anything from rape convictions to bastard babies to a surly reputation at least… and of course, as mentioned before, I was underage so… there would probably have been plenty of charges involving underage drinking, intoxication, providing for the intoxication of minors… and because I would’ve gone Scarface with that sh*t, it would’ve only led to an international conglomerate of importing illegal hops & barley, as well as cocaine for flavoring & preservative qualities, muscling out competition, racketeering charges, and eventually going to war with BIG BEER after August Busch IV called me a “f**king little monkey” after botching an assassination attempt against the President of MADD and that can only end in a bloody shootout at my palatial mansion on Star Island… all by my 21st birthday. You know… hypothetically speaking.
So maybe it’s a good thing that the timing for this has all worked out the way that it has… and I’m glad to share these experiences with you. So please… subscribe so that we know you care, let us know how we’re doing or if you have any questions, and enjoy the benefits of our labours. Most importantly… have a great day everybody!!!

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